It has been a long time since I last blogged. Wow that’s really slack of me! And here I am about to write a blog about why my books aren’t published. The question is, if I’m so slack in writing a blog, am I just as slack in writing novels?
The answer is no. You see, I find writing a novel a little bit easier than writing blogs. I love blogging but I don’t always get the ideas I need for a good blog. Whereas I always have ideas going around my head for a novel and I need to write them down, even if I don’t finish the novel there and then. However, despite the amount of time I spend writing novels, I’m no closer to becoming published. I consider that to be my own fault. I shall explain why.
I’m a procrastinator. I don’t procrastinate in my actual writing because I’m always writing – ask my husband. I procrastinate in actually submitting my manuscript to a publisher. You see, I wish to be published traditionally but I know it’s not always an easy market to break into. I procrastinate because I’m petrified. Not about rejection, I fully expect to be rejected, it’s getting the information together to submit it.
Once I’ve finished the manuscript I then need to stress over a synopsis and a query letter. For me, those two things are the scariest things to write. I can write a 100,000+ novel easily but to write a two page synopsis and a one page letter is terrifying. So I procrastinate in the sense that I put them off and put them off and put them off until I get to this point where I’m drowning in my sorrows and am still unpublished.
There’s an element of fear there too. Let me put it this way, I have a lot of finished manuscripts. So many in fact I don’t know what to do with them! Well I do, but fear is standing in my way. One particular manuscript that I recently finished is really important to me, one of my best I feel, and I really want it published. Lately I’ve been trying to push my fears aside and work on a synopsis. Sadly I’m not getting very far.
Then there’s an issue that involves money, or lack thereof. I don’t want my query letter, synopsis or sample chapters to be clumsily edited but the truth is I can’t afford an editor! Seriously, those people are so damn expensive and since I’m the breadwinner of my little family of two, we just can’t part with that money. So I have to rely on myself to do first and second edits then ask my non biased friends and family to do a more thorough edit too. Sadly they have their own lives and I don’t get it back from them quickly enough.
Even when I do, fear pokes its head up again and I fear that if I do get an agent or a publishing house interested in my manuscript, they may tell me to hire an editor. Well that takes me back to reason number three because I can’t afford it! Can you see why I procrastinate so much? I’m not saying it’s acceptable and I hate being like it but there’s all these little things that stand in my way.
So now that we’ve discussed my main reasons for still not being published, I just want to touch on my struggle with writing synopses a little more. I’ve had some good advice from authors and fellow bloggers which has sort of helped but sort of not either. Take for example Katie Fforde, she told me not long ago to write a synopsis as though I’m talking to someone about my novel. A very good piece of advice, I thought. However I tried that and it ended up being way too long. I’m not afraid to admit that I talk a lot, as is noticed by the length of the blogs I write, but it is a downfall when I try and take on that piece of advice.
I also read a piece of advice that said to read each chapter and note down the main event of each chapter then piece them together to form a synopsis. I haven’t tried this yet as I only read it before I wrote this blog, so I think I might give it a go. I’ll see how I go but I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach I’m going to fall into the same problem of it being too long.
The thing is also, with these fears still haunting me I’m never going to know if my novels will ever be good enough for publishing. So it’s a bit of a catch 22, huh?
So the truth is, I know that to get anywhere I have to overcome these fears but I’m struggling to say the least. The reason for this blog is to explain why I’m not getting anywhere and hope that you, the reader and hopefully fellow writers / authors, can give me some advice. Am I over thinking things? Am I worrying over nothing? Is the editing thing not that big a deal because editors will be provided if I’m taken on by an agent or publishing house?
If you can comment and give me your thoughts it would mean a LOT because one day I want my book to be on sale. And I want you all to see it and know I’ve finally overcome my, quite frankly, stupid fear!
Thanks for now and I shall publish this. I will try and blog a bit more frequently from now on. 🙂 ciao!
My Creative Flows 