Posts Tagged ‘procrastination’

I have to confess, I’ve been feeling a little deflated up until a few hours ago. You see, the  first week went so well for me. I had reached 20,000 words by the end of week one and I was rearing to go!

However, now that we’re in week two, in fact approaching the end of week two, I’ve come to a standstill. It’s annoying the hell out of me! My current word count is 23,488. *sigh* I had really hoped to meet, or even exceed, the halfway mark by now.

I keep asking myself: have I bitten off more than I can chew? Should I have continued an existing, incomplete novel rather than starting afresh? Then the biggest question of them all… am I really cut out for this?

It doesn’t help that toward the end of last week, and the weekend just gone, have been really hectic. Finding time to write after reaching that 20k mark has been almost impossible. Then I’ve been feeling so exhausted, the desire to write isn’t there.

So needless to say, I’ve been feeling a little down in the dumps. But then last night, after voicing my worries on the NaNo facebook page for Adelaide, someone said something to me that made me feel better. He said: Don’t let it get you down. The week two wall hits all of us at one point or another. Stick it out, keep your chin up and just keep battling away. If you can slog your way through it, week three will be upon you in no time and you will start chugging along nicely again.

Well all I can say to that is, thank you! I’m realising now it’s not just me. I never meant to sound selfish and go ‘oh woe is me’ but I didn’t realise this was something that happened to all, or at least most, NaNo participants. I thought I was failing as a writer. That perhaps I had lost my ability to write something good.

But perhaps that’s not the case at all. Perhaps I just need to get over this blip and I’ll be fine. At the moment I’m still on target. Just. But if I can write 20k in one week, what’s to say I can’t do it again in week three?

This new novel I’ve chosen to write is a real challenge for me but when I stop and think about it, it is coming along nicely. I want to see it to completion in November. So this is why I don’t feel so deflated now. I realise that everyone is feeling the same thing. And I realise that I can and want to do this.

Do you know what that means for me? It’s time to stop wallowing in my self-pity and get my butt back in to gear!

Hopefully by the time I post again I will have some happier news! 🙂

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It has been a long time since I last blogged. Wow that’s really slack of me! And here I am about to write a blog about why my books aren’t published. The question is, if  I’m so slack in writing a blog, am I just as slack in writing novels?

The answer is no. You see, I find writing a novel a little bit easier than writing blogs. I love blogging but I don’t always get the ideas I need for a good blog. Whereas I always have ideas going around my head for a novel and I need to write them down, even if I don’t finish the novel there and then. However, despite the amount of time I spend writing novels, I’m no closer to becoming published. I consider that to be my own fault. I shall explain why.

I’m a procrastinator. I don’t procrastinate in my actual writing  because I’m always writing – ask my husband. I procrastinate in actually submitting my manuscript to a publisher. You see, I wish to be published traditionally but I know it’s not always an easy market to break into. I procrastinate because I’m petrified. Not about rejection, I fully expect to be rejected, it’s getting the information together to submit it.

Once I’ve finished the manuscript I then need to stress over a synopsis and a query letter. For me, those two things are the scariest things to write. I can write a 100,000+ novel easily but to write a two  page synopsis and a one page letter is terrifying. So I procrastinate in the sense that I put them off and put them off and put them off until I get to this point where I’m drowning in my sorrows and am still unpublished.

There’s an element of fear there too. Let me put it this way, I have a lot of finished manuscripts. So many in fact I don’t know what to do with them! Well I do, but fear is standing in my way. One particular manuscript that I recently finished is really important to me, one of my best I feel, and I really want it published. Lately I’ve been trying to push my fears aside and work on a synopsis. Sadly I’m not getting very far.

Then there’s an issue that involves money, or lack thereof. I don’t want my query letter, synopsis or sample chapters to be clumsily edited but the truth is I can’t afford an editor! Seriously, those people are so damn expensive and since I’m the breadwinner of my little family of two, we just can’t part with that money. So I have to rely on myself to do first and second edits then ask my non biased friends and family to do a more thorough edit too. Sadly they have their own lives and I don’t get it back from them quickly enough.

Even when I do, fear pokes its head up again and I fear that if I do get an agent or a publishing house interested in my manuscript, they may tell me to hire an editor. Well that takes me back to reason number three because I can’t afford it! Can you see why I procrastinate so much? I’m not saying it’s acceptable and I hate being like it but there’s all these little things that stand in my way.

So now that we’ve discussed my main reasons for still not being published, I just want to touch on my struggle with writing synopses a little more. I’ve had some good advice from authors and fellow bloggers which has sort of helped but sort of not either. Take for example Katie Fforde, she told me not long ago to write a synopsis as though I’m talking to someone about my novel. A very good piece of advice, I thought. However I tried that and it ended up being way too long. I’m not afraid to admit that I talk a lot, as is noticed by the length of the blogs I write, but it is a downfall when I try and take on that piece of advice.

I also read a piece of advice that said to read each chapter and note down the main event of each chapter then piece them together to form a synopsis. I haven’t tried this yet as I only read it before I wrote this blog, so I think I might give it a go. I’ll see how I go but I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach I’m going to fall into the same problem of it being too long.

The thing is also, with these fears still haunting me I’m never going to know if my novels will ever be good enough for publishing. So it’s a bit of a catch 22, huh?

So the truth is, I know that to get anywhere I have to overcome these fears but I’m struggling to say the least. The reason for this blog is to explain why I’m not getting anywhere and hope that you, the reader and hopefully fellow writers / authors, can give me some advice. Am I over thinking things? Am I worrying over nothing? Is the editing thing not that big a deal because editors will be provided if I’m taken on by an agent or publishing house?

If you can comment and give me your thoughts it would mean a LOT because one day I want my book to be on sale. And I want you all to see it and know I’ve finally overcome my, quite frankly, stupid fear!

Thanks for now and I shall publish this. I will try and blog a bit more frequently from now on. 🙂 ciao!

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