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Posts Tagged ‘family’

In my last post leading into the new year – 2014 – Another year coming to an end – I mentioned my Grandfather’s deteriorating health. I’m sad to say he passed away the next day. New Years day.

My mother phoned me in the afternoon saying he had taken a turn for the worst. We thought he’d have a couple of days left so my family were planning a visit to see him and I was doing the same. Around an hour later though, Mum phoned me again saying he had died. We knew he would die eventually but it was much quicker than any of us expected. His health went downhill exceedingly quick.

So this is where my blog title comes into account – is it okay to feel relieved when someone close to you dies? I guess it depends on the circumstances. Most people would only really feel relieved if that person was suffering.

Some people feel guilty for feeling relieved. My Mum is one of them. She said to me just yesterday that she’s relieved he’s dead because it’s ended his suffering but she feels guilty. I told her it was perfectly normal to feel that way after what he’s been through.

If I’m honest I’m relieved too. Don’t get me wrong, I cried when he died. I love my Grandad but I know he’s better off. I will never forget the day he begged for the pain to end. We told him it was okay if he wanted to go to sleep. We were just waiting for the time he finally did. And he did…at last. And yes, we’re relieved. I meant what I told Mum though. There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. He’s in a much better place now. He’s sleeping and will never have to suffer again. I’m very happy with that outcome.

Everyone handles grief differently, I understand that. For me, I’m not one to wallow. I grieve for as long as I need to then I move on. I don’t let grief take me over. I don’t pine after lost loved ones because I know it won’t do me any good. I have days when I miss them. Today for example I do miss Grandad a lot but it’ll pass and I’ll just continue moving on.

So if anyone has ever felt relief over someone’s death, don’t feel guilty. If they were suffering it’s safe to say they’re better off.

And without sounding selfish, right at this moment I’m feeling like the stress I’ve been under for nearly two years is slowly disappearing and I like it. A lot. Perhaps 2015 will be a good year after all.

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While I have been absent, I have been thinking about what to base my next blog on. I got the idea while I was on holiday. I just haven’t had a chance to write it before now.

Before I continue I would like to remind my readers that this blog is based purely on my own opinions. It’s obvious really and you might wonder why I’ve said that. Well the thing is there came a point when I was worried about what I blogged in fear of upsetting people. That was why I was absent for so long. All my blog ideas were somewhat controversial. But then just recently I felt like a downright dweeb as I realised that this is my blog and I can blog about whatever the hell I want.

With that said, I am blogging about something I am very passionate about:

Children in child care.

Now let me start off by saying this: I have nothing against child care at all. I think it’s a great idea. There are times when parents need to have a break and in this day and age, both parents are working. That’s fine, no worries at all. What I have a problem with is how often child care is used and for what reason.

I know people who use child care because they can’t be bothered with their kids. they throw them in four or five days a week so that they’re not an inconvenience to them. Um hello? They’re your kids! You chose to have them so you have to take responsibility for them. Don’t just palm them off on to someone else just because you can’t be bothered. Then to top it off, when these people finally have the kids (usually only the weekends) they don’t spend time with them anyway. Think of the poor children. Their parents are strangers to them.

Here’s something to think about: Do both parents need to work? Are you working just because you want to be rich and have the best of everything? If that’s the case I think it’s time you re-evaluated your life. Put your kids first for once. If one person can work and still provide the income you need, maybe you should do that. How important are material possessions to you? You don’t need to follow the fashion. You don’t need to have the best in technology. You don’t need the biggest house or the flashiest car. Every child doesn’t need to have a phone or tablet.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to work. It’s good to keep your skills up to date for when your children go to school. But why don’t you think about reducing the hours you work so you can be with them more often? Parents often forget how vulnerable children are. They need attention…they need family. If they don’t have that, they’re going to grow up being lonely and who knows what else they’ll become.

Child care is a great thing to have. It’s important to have a break, it’s important to work and support the family and it’s a good way for kids to get to know other kids their age. But don’t do it because you don’t want your kids around. It happens too often and it breaks my heart.

Just something to think about.

I hope to blog more often from now on. 🙂

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