Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘breaking up’

Today I read an article on news.com.au about breakup texts. You can see the article here:

Breakup Texts to Finish a Relationship For Good

After reading this, it inspired me to write this blog. My question to you is, is it wrong or is it okay to break up over text?

My opinion is this: I think it’s the cowardly way out. Many people today don’t like confrontation so rather than facing someone and saying ‘sorry this isn’t working out, I want to break up’ they go to other extremes to do it. It’s not just text messages either. Here are some other ways of breaking up that I’ve either witnessed or heard of:

 – Get a friend to tell your boyfriend / girlfriend instead then go into hiding.

 – Just stop talking to the person you want to break up with and ignore them all together.

 – Sleep with someone else and get purposely found out

Okay, seriously people it’s time to stop being such a wuss. If you’re really that disinterested in someone and want to end the relationship, do the decent thing and tell them to their face. There is nothing worse than going out with someone then they suddenly stop talking to you. You’re left confused and wondering what went wrong. Not to mention the confidence you once had being totally squashed.

This happened to me when I was 17. I was going out with a guy from school. He was my first ‘official’ boyfriend. I thought things were going well but then suddenly one day he just stopped talkingto me. If I tried to call around, his parents would say he wasn’t home. If I tried to phone him he wouldn’t answer. When I saw him at school, he ignored me. I had become nobody to him. And it bloody hurt. Then one day I heard he had another girlfriend. Yeah real smooth. It was like being kicked in the nuts… not that I have any but you get my gist.

And the worst part is, I never found out what went wrong. We did start talking again about six months later and I questioned him but he pretended to not hear me and it was never discussed. I gave up asking in the end, knowing full well I wouldn’t get an answer.

The same thing happened a few years later when I was around 21.

I wanted to know what went wrong. There is nothing worse than not knowing. I mean, what if I was a bad kisser or I just sucked at relationships? If I’m not told, how can I improve it for the next poor soul I go out with? Needless to say, I didn’t have another boyfriend after the last one at 21, until I was around 25. That was when I met the man who is now my husband. Somehow I did something right with him. But my confidence in relationships and with the opposite sex was low and I was petrified of doing something wrong. Even now, we’ve been married for nearly 5 years, I’m still petrified of doing something wrong because in the back of my mind I fear I’m going to make the same mistake I did all those years ago. Even though I don’t know what that mistake was.

But all I’m saying is, do the decent thing and break up properly. Talk about it, tell them what’s bothering you and what’s not working. Otherwise the other person is going to be left wondering what they did wrong and it is going to destroy every inch of their confidence.

Please don’t think I’m being sexist and writing this purely from a woman’s perspective. Yes I’m a woman and yes women react differently to this sort of thing. However, I know this sort of thing does happen to men and belive it or not, it ruins their confidence too. They just don’t tend to express their emotions as much.

All I’m saying is personally I don’t think it’s okay to break up over text. Nor do I think it’s okay to just suddenly ignore that person and never give answers. Men and women should all do the right thing and talk about what went wrong so they can both learn what not to do next time.

Does anyone else have opinions on this?

Advertisements

Read Full Post »